Good riddance, Facebook

Dear Facebook,

It’s not you, it’s me. I need to figure things out. Like how you are sucking all my time and how you’re making me into someone I am not. Like how you make me hate myself as I skim through posts and pictures of my so-called “friends”. God, their lives are so perfect! Why is my life not as perfect as theirs? Am I the only one who have to deal with occasional bouts of jealousy and self-doubt every time I read about a “friend” who bought his own private jet, and another “close friend” who spent his holidays on the moon? I feel so pathetic.

Oh please, don’t stare at me with those wide pitiful eyes. That won’t work anymore. I know, things were going so great between us, and it’s such a shocker that I’m telling you this. But this has been on the back of my mind for months, and I’m sorry it has taken me quite a long time to finally gather enough courage to confess that you and I just aren’t good for each other. Remember that time I was at the top of the Eiffel tower in Paris? For a fleeting moment, while taking in the breathtaking panorama of the City of Lights, I really felt like I was the King of the World, that everything was truly possible, and yes, that with a panoramic view of Paris at night, who needs drugs to get high? But that feeling of being invincible quickly evaporated and was immediately replaced by a seemingly innocuous thought along the lines of: “I need to share this on Facebook! Paris, you’ll now be Instagrammed!”

Oh by the way, I don’t have an Instagram account, so I might have slightly altered the line above. But then, altering wall posts and minor adjustments in statuses have become a staple part of our complicated relationship dynamics, right? You’ve always made me feel like I needed to make my posts and stories more interesting than they really are, so there you go, I made some minor adjustments in them. It’s not that the minor adjustments are lies you know, they are after all, just minor. I just want my “friends” to like my posts, isn’t it a noble motivation to alter, and in doing so fake a post? Everyone’s doing it, so nothing’s possibly wrong with it, right?

Listen, you’re really great. You are. And you’re way too generous, to the point that I’m really having a hard time receiving all the stuff you so generously shower upon me. How come you know that I need to get informed on what my “friends” had for dinner, or about how a “friend’s” baby just had the first poop of the baby’s life, complete with DSLR-quality pictures of the poop? And isn’t it too much information when a “friend” posted about her weird bodily functions, about another’s drunken ramblings, and beat this – about someone’s sex life?

Our relationship was founded on complete trust. We even made a pact to be totally honest to each other. You promised me that you will reveal to me all your secrets, that all the things you know I will know. You have given me the power to really stalk know someone – what someone is up to, what type of movies she likes, where she spent her weekend, what sort of jokes she finds funny, how she looks like in a swimsuit, and even when she has a period – all in the comfort of my room and with a mindless click of a button! You even told me about a friend of a friend’s family background and life history, even though that friend of a friend is someone I’ve only known through you, and wouldn’t even talk to in real life. I sometimes feel queasy about this kind of set-up. Don’t you think it’s a little unhealthy knowing too much about a person without even spending time talking with that person?

This is not easy for me, believe me. We had so much promise, we shared so many memories. But as time passes by, I feel like our relationship has become a little more than a superficial facade, a carefully altered representation of myself. It has been totally unexpected that with the ease you provide in communicating with “friends”, my relationships with my “friends” are increasingly becoming shallower. What went wrong? Is it because with your existence, I have been more concerned about what others think of me through my online persona? That instead of meeting and talking with friends and family, I have resigned myself to simply liking and commenting on their posts?

It’s not you, it’s me. You deserve someone better. I deserve a better life too – a life of genuine relationships, a life that couldn’t care less about what people think as long as I know it’s what I want, a life lived every moment without thinking of posting it online… which is why, I’m setting both of us free.


471 thoughts on “Good riddance, Facebook

  1. Often I have had the same feelings. It’s after all a virtual, unreal world, where emotions, words, looks are all fake. Someday I should get out of this rat race too. Congrats, as you have already done it.

    1. thanks for taking time to read the post! i’ll be deleting my Facebook account before Dec 31, 2012 (to give time to inform my friends about the deletion), so I’ll have a Facebook-free 2013… hope you decide sooner whether to keep your FB account or not! hehe

        1. My blog post tonight was about how WordPress is starting to be like Facebook for me — people seem to be publicizing themselves and not being real…Of course it depends on the
          blog and this one isn’t like that but FB is such a downer. I actually read a study that people find it extremely depressing to read about how everyone else is so happy and successful. I know I do.

          1. What those studies usually fail to mention is just how fake it is and how hard those people try to make others perceive them as happy.

            I live in an area with a lot of student housing (and a soon to be high murder rate if they play what they call music with that much bass at that time again) and the students are recently back after Christmas so they’re having parties. This means that the costume shops are filled with students blowing their parents money on the most outrageous costumes that they could find so that they stand out more than anyone else. Just this last weekend I saw a group of Naruto characters walking down the street with the girl from Lollipop Chainsaw, all of them looking miserable and cold, then stopping at a park and posing for photos. They seemed to come alive as they lifted each other up and got into obviously prearranged poses for the camera. Then the photos were over and their faces dropped again as they got on to the obviously hard work of going to the party and having fun. Still, they got their photos to post online and show everyone how much fun they were having and that was all that mattered.

            Maybe I’m romanticising my own childhood, but I don;t remember it being like that. Without an audience other than those with us at the time, there was no planning and posing for photos. We went to parties, sometimes dressed up and sometimes in our scruffs, and we had as good a time as the party would allow. If photos were taken they were usually without our knowledge and never shared with as many strangers as we could accumulate in a pathetic attempt to convince ourselves that our worthiness in life was raised by the meaningless advancement of a single statistic.

            Personally I came here because my old site was getting a little too Facebooky for my liking, and didn’t have half the features that WordPress does.

            1. Instead of participating in their lives, people spend all of their time taking photos with their phones to document something they aren’t experiencing! It’s weird. And sad! I’m trying not to hate Facebook but it’s not working. :)

    2. I got out, but they won’t let me make that final cut, they leave me ‘de-activated’ and if I dare to peep back in they throw open their arms and say how much they missed me :(

      1. hahaha. The temptation to peep back in can be strong when you are bored. Ever consider unfriending everyone before you deactivate? Then there is nothing to go back to.

      2. LOL – that’s true. why don’t they let us delete it completely, but here’s a way to do it: change the password in a way you do not know, just randomly put two fingers on two key, don’t look where they fall, ok. then just click back and forth to add new password. after that delete the email account that is used for facebook. [just make a new gmail account for Facebook email use]

        there’s another way to do this job. just make ways to get rid of that facebook.

        1. Yes, you can wholly delete your Facebook account and not just deactivate it. There is a 2-week “waiting period” in which you can reactivate, but after that it is GONE. Facebook does not make it an easy option to find, but Google is your friend.

        2. But I need to know how to get rid of my guilt too. I mean I just wiped away my fave Auntie, and her poodle Floss, who had his own account. Is there a Facebookanon I wonder :)

      3. I have been de-activated since 4 years and still … all it would take would be just signing in again. So from my perspective it is really no different to a non-deleted account where there are no mail-notification enabled… wait, it should read “where there are all mail-notifications disabled in a long and dragging process”

    3. I had in the past deactivated my account twice and lasted a significant amount without my FB and it was great. I enjoyed those free moments. However, I have since reactivated my account and it has made me feel worse than I already feel about my self . Specially. right now that I am going through a difficult time in life. In time I will end my relationship with FB.

    4. “Don’t you think it’s a little unhealthy knowing too much about a person without even spending time talking with that person?”

      Yes, and I couldn’t agree more. Brilliant post.

    1. I know I already sent you an email about being Freshly Pressed, so replying to your comment here might be unnecessary. But still, I’d like to reply here, just because I feel the need to. :)

      Thanks for sharing your post on your thoughts about how Facebook is shaping our lives, both online and offline. Enjoyed reading your post… and can I say that I really like your blog? I’m extremely picky in following blogs, but in your case, reading and bookmarking your site might be the best thing I’ve done tonight (aside from eating dinner, of course).

  2. congrats on deleting your account, or will you still be deleting it? i’ve been thinking of doing the same lately, since browsing or scrolling through facebook has become a mindless “cure” for boredom lately, or maybe, just something so thoughtlessly done to get the hands moving. and i’m beginning to really despise the unwelcomed “habit.” i’m hoping i could get the same courage come 2013. it will be a great change. happy 2013 in advance! :D

    1. I’ve deleted it already last night! You are so right when you said that Facebook has become something so thoughtlessly done to get the hands moving; in my case, it has been reduced to a thoughtless habit which seemed harmless at first but eventually had a detrimental impact on my well-being. So I had to let it go. So far, it has been liberating. I actually spent a lot of time today going outside my room, talking with family (I’m on vacation from work), and just living life – things I wouldn’t normally have the luxury of doing if I still have my Facebook account. :) I don’t really think though that deleting Facebook accounts would work for everyone due to a variety of reasons (work, communicating with family abroad, etc.), so hopefully you’d be able to decide whether to keep yours or not.

      1. I deleted my account and immediately made a new account so that I could still operate the work page and connect to my music group. My single friend is the music group leader so that I can be part of it. I had high hopes that this would liberate my time – however, I have discovered that I can spend literally hours lying on the couch playing Mah Jong and Sudoku on an iPod touch. Pathetic.

  3. haha! good for you! you seem to be more “hooked” to facebook than i am. and yeah, you’re right. it is indeed also a great help to get in touch with the more necessary updates, so to say. so, it takes us back to your first two lines which is only appropriate: “Dear Facebook, it’s not you, it’s me.” hehe! anyway, just to get this going, and forgive me for ranting on your page, but facebook makes me laugh in a day, really. it’s like a little box filled with the many different facets of a human’s personality, which in facebook, you name as your “friends.”hehe! oh well, sorry for making your page as an excuse to rant.hehe! God bless to you, sir! :)

  4. Welcome to the Facebook free life! :) I deleted mine a couple years ago when I started thinking in status update format. I have to admit, I felt a bit left out at times, but I’ll never go back! It’s freeing and I Iove not being tied to FB. Hope you enjoy it too!
    Congrats on Freshly Pressed. :)

  5. good for you! facebook leads one away from contentment, i think. it encourages us to unfavorably compare ourselves to the highlight reels of other people’s lives.

  6. “Don’t you think it’s a little unhealthy knowing too much about a person without even spending time talking with that person?” Valid question and absolutely why I ditched Facebook after a brief experiment with the mundane minutia of that time wasting, banal, pathetic excuse for human interaction. The Hacker’s Way seems that of a drug pusher. free samples, harmless fun, hooked. Congratulations to you for kicking the habit.

  7. I said good bye to facebook about 6 months ago. I have never felt better about a decision! Good for you for making yours. (I do have a facebook page for my writing. But I don’t post on it except for my short stories.) As for a personal facebook, no I gave it up and am better for it. I’ll stick to blogging.

  8. Great post, I feel this almost every day. I hate the fact that I am on Facebook and yet I don’t delete my account. It’s coming though…the time is coming and then I will be happy! Good to find you on wordpress, nice blog.

  9. Congratulations, but more importantly, good luck! Like any real life break-up, a divorce with Facebook will inevitably lead to some trauma afterwards, namely, being pestered by people to go back on, and even later, being left out of some events that were only on Facebook. No worries, after three FB-free years my social life is hardly dead, and my relationships are now far more meaningful. =)

  10. I dumped it a few months ago, too. It was not that painful a breakup, although I keep getting notices telling me that three people just unfriended me. On the Facebook account I no longer have.

  11. seriously it is good riddance!…myself & hubby deleted our FB accounts more than a yr ago….and it’s so refreshing to not really know every personal detail about others lives! Really nice style of writing! Congrats on being freshly pressed!

  12. I wholeheartedly agree. It’s all become rather self promoting and vacuous; prosaic little comments about what one has had for dinner… that one has woken with a headache for the umpteenth morning in a row …and, and….. You almost hear them pleading for some Soap opera-esque drama to fill the gaping chasm in their life: For God’s sake, help me as I simply do not know what to cook for dinner; for God’s sake how do I clean that cat puke off the floor; For God’s sake it’s-shit-again time ….because ….because,,,…. oh dear.

    1. Dear Facebook,

      Sorry to disappoint you. It’s been more than 2 weeks since I deleted my account last year. Now let me live my life, will you?

  13. I deleted my account just a few weeks ago and “good riddance” is definitely how I would describe my feelings. The only benefit of being on Facebook was knowing when to rob someone after they posted a status update about their vacation ;)

    1. Okay as much as I appreciate this comment, and hate Facebook I will have to say this is one time when it became useful. On my alst vacation I was caught in a major earthquake and power was lost for a couple of days. At some point I was able to quickly make use of a news crews laptop to send a couple of e-mails and post on my status that everything was okay so my firends and family wouldn’t worry about me.

      Beyond that, I too can only say I don’t miss Fecesbook, and anyone that was worthy of staying in contact with already has the other, better, means of contacting me.

  14. Dear Gary! This was an amazing post. You said so many important things in such a brilliantly funny format. Loved it. The blending of fact and fiction (I prefer fiction to lies here) and too much truth shared relentlessly by “friends.” In fact, I’m so moved by your post that I think I’m going to share it on Facebook right away! Thanks for a great post.

  15. Oye, I’m a new follower to your blog and must I say that I really enjoyed reading this. Facebook takes all the enjoyment out of life’s simplicity such as face-to-face communication, going for a walk and enjoying the natural beauty of nature. It’s becoming very time consuming in the sense where just when you think you can log out, you come across another status update that keeps you engaged and before you know it, you’ve spent three quarters of your day on facebook. It really makes you feel like you’ve wasted your day away. When you start to feel bad about the lack of life you have and how every one else around you has this over glorified life on facebook, it’s because you are too busy sitting there dwelling on what you could be doing instead of actually doing it. Great post my friend! :) I look forward to reading more of your work. Follow me back if you wish!

  16. I don’t think I could ever find a better stalkingIMEANLEGALMEETING tool. This may sound like I’m just picking up your sloppy seconds, but Facebook and I are going on vacation–together. I hope you understand. I’d send you photos but you broke up with Facebook. It’s all for the best, anyway.

  17. Love it. It’s so interesting that I was recently feeling the same way and thinking of deleting my account when suddenly I ran into your post. I’m a little closer to deciding now. :-) Really Great post!

  18. Thank you Gary for a very spot-on post about the crazy and I feel at times disturbing aspects of Facebook. I too had to say goodbye, for many of the reasons you wrote of – and I have never l looked back.

  19. Funnily enough (or rather not so funny as it is boring and predictable..) my first instinct was to share…on facebook… BUT I withstood the temptation!!! Is that step one on the road to recovery? Very funny post, so true. What shallow functions we humans obsess over. It is ruining so many good qualities and encouraging so many bad ones. Yet I guess the power of communication and connection can be a good thing but facebook has certainly become a monster.

  20. i have deleted my facebook account in 2009 for taking up too much of my quiet time, but then created a new one late 2010 with a different name and limit my friends to 10 only despite having almost a hundred invites, it’s all about self control… but yes, you’re right about comparison traps and all that… CONGRATS on your decision to delete your fb account. God bless you!

  21. I love this post. It’s so true. I SO want rid of FaceBook, I’ve left it on several occasions and unfortunately returned. Nowadays I feel obliged to keep it as my brother has moved to Italy and my mum wants LIVE updates on his new life; FaceBook provides that. BUT. As soon as he’s back home; Bye Bye FaceBook!

  22. Facebook for me is just a fun way to pass time at work. I never post there myself, mostly because I never want a moment like the one you had on the Eiffel Tower — “I must stop actually experiencing this moment because I have to document it on Facebook so everyone else will be jealous of this moment I’m experiencing!”

  23. Thank you, for both great reading and the knowledge that I´m not alone with this kind of fellings towards facebook. Even having coffee with friends can be hard these days, because most of them have coffee with facebook or instagram instead..
    Anyway,I really liked this post and it´s not always easy to find well-written (and interesting) blogs out there and you seem to be one of the good ones. You´ve got a new follower :)


  24. Loved it. Facebook is like the vampire of life. I have an account I keep and the last time I logged in they said “Welcome back to Facebook” like I had quit or something, but I just dont log into it that often. Its more like a deluxe address book for me. Then today I was thinking about this very thing and I was a video about living in the Now that was awesome and I though about how Facebook sucks the life out of my kids life. I am going to ask my kids to reconsider their life. Here is the video I mentioned, Its inspiring. Not mine and I dont know him, just love the video.

  25. Good for you Gary. I’d like to break up with FB too – but I stay because I’d miss the pics of my far-away grandkids. Otherwise, I bet I could do without, and maybe someday I will. congratulations for being FP’d – too bad you can’t announce it on FB now ;)

  26. I want to delete my facebook. Not just deactivate–DELETE. Man oh man. The only thing that is stopping me is all of the pictures I need to download off of it!

    Yep. One day I am going to sit down and do that painstaking process. I run a facebook page for my blog, but that can be easily controlled from an account with zero friends.

    I need to stop making excuses and delete that account for sure.

    1. Actually, you can go into your settings and download all your information (status updates and pictures and notes) from Facebook in your Account Settings. They can send you an email with a link once all your info is compiled together and then you can finally get rid of it once and for all. :) It takes no work. Just waiting for them to create the download for you.

  27. I think I am in an abusive relationship with Facebook. I keep cutting it out of my life but I always go back. I am weak. I think a support group is in order.
    I really enjoyed your post. It let me know I am not alone!

  28. As part of my pre-planned mid-life crisis in my 30’s I culled Facebook. Like a spade to a mole I cleaned up, arguably not as drastic or emotionally moving as your act but still freeing. I may blog about it tomorrow the new place where I think and do instead of poking, tagging and showing no-one who cares pictures of my life.
    I really enjoyed your read.

    1. It feels like a pressure to constantly see if someone said something interesting or responded to your status or pictures. It really is absurd.

  29. So, what’s wrong with presenting our best face to our friends on social media or otherwise? Isn’t this what we also do in real life, keep our dirty laundry hidden away and put on a happy face most of the time? People don’t like to read about our miserable problems online any more than they want to hear about them at a cocktail party. (How many of you have unfriended somebody on FB simply for being a relentless bummer? I know I have!) People rail against FB for making us all Polyannaish fakes, but I think that’s pretty much what we already are because that is called being “well socialized” and “polite.” FB simply magnifies and records that behavior.

    1. Good job on deleting it! You’ll find it’s easy to live without! I think this will be a continuing trend (I gave it the axe five months ago) and am not missing it one bit! Say hello to life without a facade!

  30. Honestly, this was genius! I feel the same way, so I deactivated mine a few weeks back. The holidays were meant to be spent with family, and not of you telling everyone via Facebook status. If they’re not there, well, their loss or they don’t need to be. Great post, Gary.

  31. Facebook is losing a lot of friends these days. I did it too, sort of. I didn’t delete or go all inactive or anything because I wanted to keep my blog page. I get a lot of readers from there over here. I unfriended all of my friends and then set my settings so only friends of friends could send a friend request. Say that three times fast. Sheesh. Now I can still publicize my blog posts to Facebook and interact with readers on that page, but I’m not filtering through the scripted joy.

  32. I deleted facebook and it was tough living without it for the first few days. but a few days later, i wasn’t bothered a bit by the lack of facebook. i simply do not have the time to care about how wonderful other people’s because i need to focus on my own life. deleting facebook and surviving without it is really an opportunity to see how mature and confident you are with yourself. It’s a great way to build self-discipline. I urge those who have become too addicted to checking other people’s lives and neglecting their own to step away from the virtual world and start improving their own situation. There’s nothing wrong with using facebook if all it serves is a way for you to stay in touch with other people from time to time. But it should not be viewed as a way to compare one’s life to another.

  33. Great post..honestly written..but my account got hacked somewhere..I got a new one which is kinda boring to add everyone again..:) but I Completely agree! to the fact mentioned by you on this post…I am not an a great FB user anyways and it’s mostly because of what you said here.. Congratulations on Freshly Pressed!!

  34. I love this post! I am not a facebooker and I never have been. Being of the younger generation that is quite a rarity and I have been subjected to much pressure from university friends to succumb to it, but I never will. I have recognised facebook for what it really is from the outset- it is a virtual world which provides a form of escapism from the harsh realities of the real world. Or should I say it is a mere distraction from what goes on in the real world. It is a world in which you can cut and edit your character, your friendships, the dialogue you provide even your appearance ( through fierecly edited pictures from instagram) to what you wish you really were. You ‘befriend’ people you’ve never met, much less know, for mere gratification of seeming popular. It allows for you to indulge in yourself and your fantasies upon the pretext of “being social and keeping connected with friends”. And because you can edit who you are in such a way that you come across as ‘perfect’- facebook is an entity that corrodes the inner morality of human beings because it encourages a delusional promotion of oneself – it breeds vanity. I for one say goodbye and good riddance!

    Leila xo.

  35. I had to “like” this post cos it’s the “social” thing to do.

    Good luck with your escape. I hope you don’t have withdrawal symptoms.
    Enjoy your freedom.
    I don’t have a facebook (shock horror) probably for the time wasting mindless reasons you mentioned.
    My cartoon blog consumes enough of my time, but its fun.



  36. Well written post…if I may be bold enought to offer a dissenting viewpoint. Facebook is a tool. You control it, hopefully not vice versa. While it may magnify any negative feelings, it does not create them; some base feeling has to exist in order for Facebook to exploit it. Inadequacy, obsession et al are not created by the site – they are created by our brains. I beleive that cancelling a facebook page does not lead to greater happiness just as having a facebook page does not either, My two cents…I enjoy your post. All the best.

  37. Excellent post. I know some of this, have had three Facebook accounts – deleted two of them. Recently, though, I thought I’d give it another try and this time I’m doing it differently. For a start I’m only adding people I know either in real life or who I’ve got to know pretty well online first. (I’ve a page for everyone else – and also, for relatives! Which seems harsh but I don’t like to mix friends and family together. Difficult mix, to my mind). I’m also treating it like I treat other sites online – knowing that the way FB change their rules so frequently, my stuff could be all over the internet like a rash without my having done anything about it or be able to do anything about it.

    But it IS addictive, no doubt about it. I still find myself wandering in there and hoping more will be happening than is, or feeling that everything is too damn superficial.

    By the way, in case you’re not aware of it, you can delete your account but it’s easy enough to think you’ve done that when you’ve just deactivated it. I’ve got a link somewhere with info about how to completely delete it. Let me know if you want that and I’ll post it in a comment (won’t unless you say so as I’m not trying to tell you what to do!)

    1. After my first deactivation(slow build up) I, like you, was drawn back. Another 2accts maybe three, each time knowing I hated it, until I finally let go completely. FBBook is like the Emperor with no clothes on, in reverse: he’s wearing serious bling but claiming to be naked, and anyone who claims to see the clothes are carted off for electric shock treatment and threatened with solitary confinement.

  38. Ha! I like the “Dear John” angle you took in this post.

    Several years ago Facebook and I casually dated for about a week before calling it quits. That’s all it took to know a serious relationship with Facebook was just not in the cards. When I realized Facebook went behind my back and peeked in my email to steal my social contacts, I kicked it to the curb. Facebook was too demanding, too needy, too invasive and I am a girl who values personal space and privacy.

  39. When I opened my first facebook account, my teenage daughter was so ashamed that she went in and changed the language to Russian, couldn’t even figure out how to change it back. I find FB narcissitic and voyuersitic, not something I want to participate in. I live a dual life with part of family and friends being fundementalist Christians and my other friends being New Agers, can’t keep those two seperate on FB and the need to never meet.

  40. The only reason that I still have a FB page is because my husband is in Afghanistan and it makes it a lot easier to get in touch with him when he can’t be on Skype. I hate FB. It’s life sucking and causes more drama than any of us really need. I don’t have instagram either. I don’t see the point in producing a monologue of your daily life for people who don’t really care about any of it anyway.

  41. Absolutely love this. But Facebook is only the most recent manifestation of the barrier that the Image places between us and reality. Your mention of Paris and the Eiffel Tower reminded me of the essay “The Loss of the Creature,” where Walker Percy discusses these alternate realities of what we SHOULD be feeling and seeing compared to the true joy of immediate experience. Paraphrased, he gives the example of the Grand Canyon, which has already been formulated FOR us—by picture postcard, geography book, tourist folders, and the even the words Grand Canyon. “Where the wonder and delight of [the first person who discovered the canyon] arose from his penetration of the thing itself, now the sightseer measures his satisfaction by the degree to which the canyon conforms to the preformed complex.”

    Super long comment, but I believe that the act of “reclaiming the Grand Canyon,” or reclaiming our actual lived experience, is a vital effort! A PDF of Percy’s essay is here, if you’re interested:

  42. Love this! You’ve described my own personal love/hate relationship with facebok (deactivate, then reactivate, and repeat…). It’s a phenomenon this social networking and has changed communication forever.

  43. Ah, this post reminds me of the same feeling I had two years ago. I have long gotten rid of Facebook since, and I don’t miss it at all.

    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! Cheers to 2013!

  44. It seems as though I have not had the fb experience quite to your extent or most of the people that have commented on this post. I’m one of those overly-political-facebookers which I have heard is one of the top five most annoying types. Some unfriending and undoubtedly newsfeed hiding has most definitely been a result, but I have received many appreciative comments from fellow facebookers. I have molded fb to my liking instead of letting facebook run away with my time. Since no one reading this probably cares about my fb habits, and understandably so, let’s suffice it to say, I consider fb an informational tool rather than a social media site…for my purposes, that is – similar to a blog, which certainly leaves me in the minority.

  45. At times, you need to breath. And it appears from your post as also from your comment later that you are feeling free, liberated. But it’s a matter of time when you will be back, and I wish you do. Limiting your friends whom you really and actually know and interacting with them and getting to know them and letting them know you – more – is good… we all are social animals. I respect your decision though. Very well expressed.

  46. Dear Gary, my birthday is 1/1. 2012 was the worst year of my life; a year when I fell down and got stomped many times; I had to quit my job, college and move back home without help. Few days ago, it was disgusting seeing “facebook happy birthdays” from distant strangers not from anyone I was in touch with the last 2 years, they’re not “friends” anymore. I deactivated my facebook, as expected no one bothered asking, bit annoyed and emotional, but no loss or regret there.
    Reading your post was the best hug I could ask for at this time. thank you for sharing. btw, Im a mechanical engineer who been writing forever, ADHD? and Im 1988.. there’s beyond many similarities between us! It could be similar backgrounds,. I followed your blog, I was relating to your post ridiculously a lot as well! stay strong and wish you the best ;)

  47. The only reason I keep my Facebook profile is for some friends I went to high school with. Don’t really converse that much, but still like the option. Other than that, yes, it’s become pretty worthless.

  48. I am so guilty of this! Being in an awesome moment and having it interrupted by the thought that I need to share it on Facebook. It really is an addiction I think. If it were not for having to promote my work, I would delete too! Any suggestions?

  49. Oh, Facebook. I have wanted to give it up some many times but I can never come to do it! How on earth would I know what everyone had for dinner tonight? Haha. Great post, congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  50. I feel slightly intimidated to offer different opinion, given all of the negative vibe going on here over facebook! Let me first say that your blog was brilliantly written, so entertaining and easy to read while containing so much of your personal truth. Kudos!

    For me, facebook is a godsend. I live thousands of miles away from my closest friends and family, and fb helps me keep up with all the goings-on, especially photos of my nieces and nephews who are growing up without me. Also, facebook was the vehicle that brought my beau back to me after 20+ years of being separated. He may have never found me if it hadn’t been for our fb activity.

    Facebook could never replace face-to-face contact, but I am thankful for the contact it provides with those who are so far away but oh so important! Long live facebook :)

    1. I think your situation is what Facebook should be for, staying connected to loved ones. Sadly, the majority of time that isn’t the case. However, never be intimidated to speak your truth!

      1. Hey thanks for the encouragement! I don’t usually join in discussion, but I felt like I wanted to defend my friend :) It really was well-written though, and I wanted to leave my compliments as well. Much appreciation to ya!

  51. This is genius! I am an Electrical Engineer and also love to write… I LOVE this post, especially since it really descibes how I feel about Facebook. I have always said that Facebook is a place to facilitate people’s bragging… and now that I am attached to it daily, I have found myself feeling the same way you describe above. I may actually boycott Facebook too… because I DON’T like what it has done to me. And I DO feel jealous of other people’s lives, but the fact of the matter is, THEY are also posting only the best moments, and behind the scenes may be miserable. Kudos for writing this down… We need real relationships! Face to face… I see the old days coming back, and I’ll help them come back with my own actions, and hopefully others will follow suit.

  52. I’ve tried four or five times to fully quit Facebook, but alas. It’s strange how you feel like a second-class citizen if you lack a Facebook. One day, Facebook. One day. Luck to you, sir. You’ll need it. ;)

  53. I deleted mine! Until one day I clicked, just to see if I was a blank facebook page. OH NO! Still there and a big Welcome back from Mark! It’s a waste of time alright but I’m back and sadly, loving it!

  54. I truly enjoyed that post so much that I had to reblog it Quite an inspiration. I deliberate whether I should ‘jump on the bandwagon’ and remove my FB profile, but I would have to arrange all friends and family that I talk to round the world to join Skype or some other social media network. Writing a letter is great, being able to talk to your friends and family when you need them and not worrying about long distance charges on the whim is also great. I guess that is why it is important not to let a site consume you. You utilize it, not it utilize you! So for that reason, I am happy to network via FB to my full advantage.

  55. Good Post! And 2013 couldn’t get any better than this act :)
    I used to always hear from my friends that I am a psycho coz I dont have a FB account :P .. But, I m relieved that there are people out ther who think just like me — NORMAL ! :D

  56. This was a perfect description of the way that society works today. We all need to been known and need to be seen, social media has allowed for privacy boundaries to be almost obsolete. I hope that others can see the truth that you’ve seen when it comes to social media. Congrats on a Facebook free beginning.

  57. Hey this was a fun read and totally to the point!
    I should be ditching facebook ASAP too but I think I am not ready yet;)…Thanks for this post and Congratulations on being Freshly pressed.

  58. Great blog! Thank you so much! I love the Eiffel Tower moment – so true. I’m already off Facebook for the month of January which has been unbelievably liberating. My only reservation about cutting the final tie is my Author Page but hopefully that might actually propel me to be more active on my blog. Wonderful timing to read this.

  59. I’m with you. I deleted Facebook and haven’t looked back. Beside the insecurity (of FB and the people on there) i hate the arrogant ‘rule the World’ mentality of the FB owners. And when they purchased instagram and have now change that to be like FB, that was the last straw. Also with face recognition technology, location and the ‘spy app’ well, FB is only one letter short of FBI haha
    i read some graffiti on the day I cut from FB, it siad,’cool people don’t Facebook (-: great blog

  60. I used to feel so left out when everyone else had a Facebook but me… now I feel like I escaped a tragic addiction. I was always uncomfortable with people being able to see my whole life.. mostly because its pretty boring! I had no idea everyone else was fibbing. Good choice. Stay strong Gary

  61. Some one give that man a Bells!! Absolutely Brilliant, I love it. As of 8 December Facebook and I parted and never felt more liberated and genuine ;)

  62. I would totally ditch my Facebook account after reading your post if I ever had one. Very well written and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  63. this! exactly my feelings. you know, i actually promised myself not to make posts and statuses anymore. and as of day 4 of the year 2013, i still kept that promise. i even downloaded facebook messenger for desktop. so i only chat about “important” things there, and helps me avoid logging on to a browser.

    i really think your views are right. facebook somehow creates this “superficial facade” about ourselves.

    i hope you’ll be happy with your decision of leaving. i hope i succeed too. cheers.

  64. Great and inspiring post especially to those who are having a hard time managing their own time, how much more with FB time. Congratulations when you finally delete your account. It will be all about more meaningful relationships, then. :=)

  65. I totally agree with your post… good humor too! I’ve been thinking along the same lines as well, but I happened to come across a book by Sam Gosling, titled “Snoop: What Your Stuff says About You”. He had an interesting chapter there (which I’ve yet to read!) about why people are so obsessed with their online personas.

    Facebook does seem to get the best of almost everyone, there is a very good reason. Our brains are, after all, very biased towards the self, according to neuropsychology. :)

    Just some reflections I’ve had while reading your post. I enjoyed it a lot! Thanks! :)

  66. Amazing post. I am still on FB but your post may work as a trigger to find my own reason to say goodbye to FB. I did started a small group named soulbook on FB to avoid mindless status updates ,shares and photos. Let see if it works.

  67. I’m ok with facebook, it keeps me in touch with family and friends I otherwise wouldn’t have any contact with. BUT…Twitter, blooming twitter. I’m weaning myself off and trying to persuade myself to delete my account. Will I be missing out on vital information if I do? Will I be totally uncool? ho hum. Just trying not to look at the moment! by the way my 90 year old mum thinks facebook is called faceache. She may be right.

  68. Everything I wanted to say for so long. Only you managed to do it a million times better than I would have.
    I would have been bitter…said hateful things…this is so much nicer and classier.

  69. Reblogged this!! I feel really overwhelmed reading at your post..because it actually revealed my mind (most of the facebookians minds too). I have deleted mine a year ago. Its all I wanted and I am happy now. But the problem is my friends keep asking me what happened to my account and what was wrong with me as if I have gone mad at my life and sometimes they even question me whether I have got a break up in my relationship..that’s really a awkward feel!! They make their own justifications for me not being in Facebook. I don’t mind as far as the decision have made me feel good and it has saved me my time for my primary interests. I am happy reading books and ofcourse wordpress posts. I thought I was the only one suffering..happy to see few more minds belong to my community..many likes!!!

  70. Gary, this is hilarious! I’m so glad it was “Freshly Pressed” as it made me aware of your writing, which I will definitely look in on again. You really captured the “seeing everything through a facebook status” mentmthat mentality that seems to have taken over

  71. LoL. I have a love hate relationship with Facebook. There were times 4 years ago-when I was just starting to date this guy from the media industry- I had to deactivate my Facebook because he felt I was too accessible to random guys. Of cos my friends thought it was crazy but now I see it because “friends” see what they want to see and I become someone I’m not, the party animal.
    So yah I get you with your break up with Facebook 👻

  72. Hey I discovered this today too and really found it a fun but frightfully truthful insight on how Facebook has changed us. I wrote a post on how social media has made us a bit socially bi-polar! I think everyone needs a Facebook hiatus every once and a while just to remind ourselves life isn’t a competition! Keep up the great work, that really was a great read!

  73. I think you need to (1) setted up your privacy settings in a way that you will be comfortable about posting something about yourself, (2) clean up your friend list, and be smart in adding people in the future (3) check the updates only once (or twice) a day, (3) hide updates from “friends” you do not like or think they are stupid(like “I love my BF/GF” or “My dog is sick”).
    If you will manage to perfom these steps and organise yourself, than FB will start to be a great comunication platform and contact book. Also you do not need to write sms to each of your friends to tell them some important things. One post and everybody (your true friends, as you set up privacy setting correct) knows what you want them to know.
    Be organized with yourself and life will be much easy. Good luck in New year.

  74. Great post, made me smile – you touch on so many thoughts I have often had! Not sure I have the courage to de-facebook my life though…will be back again sometime, intrigued to read more

  75. I worry we blame technology for faults in ourselves they allow us to see. If we are jealous online, is it because we are jealous offline as well? If we have a tendency to alter the truth in our Facebook status, is it because we tend to alter the truth in general? Is it Facebook that’s the problem, or is it just us?

  76. FBook hasn’t changed anyone, it is a magnifying glass for people’s vanity, a “bonfire of the vanities.” It needs a millenium storm to come gushing down on it. Zuckerberg has only one goal, one commodity, one card to play: your data – continue stealing it, bits today, chunks tomorrow. Instagram is a typical e.g of FB trying to be clever in their continuous theft and commercial utilization of data. I have no FB page anymore. There are enough great social networks – and getting better – out there, like PINTEREST. FB isn’t holding us captive, our vanity is.

  77. And this is why I have never been on Facebook in the firstplace. I see what it has done to my boyfriend who must check it constantly on his phone. I’d rather not have that happen. I would rather move slower and have more meaningful moments than move the pace of this modern world and feel so shallow and empty. My avoidance of Facebook is precicely part of that.
    Good luck on your own quest to slow down and enjoy the moment!

  78. I love this post. The only thing I can say though is I DO use FB (and Twitter, and LinkedIn, and Pinterest, and others) to help generate readers and it works. I try to not devote my whole day to FB (unless it’s a goof-off day) and I have never updated status or anything via my phone or other device outside of my pc. I also never look at other peoples walls unless it’s family and I have a reason to be there. I do occasionally play a game, but again that’s on goof-off days as well. My FB “friends” get mad when i don’t see their posts, but the reality is my acct is maxed (over 5400 “friends”) and if you have ever been in a fast moving chat room, well that is what my “feed” looks like all of the time so I have no idea what people are saying. I merely go to my own wall and post links to my writings or news stories. I “think” I use FB differently than most, but I do know people who live and breath it (and others) and so I applaud you!!!

  79. Absolutely brilliant – sums up the whole Facebook experience perfectly. Mind you, I still use it to try and promote my own blog posts so maybe it’s time I had ‘the talk’ with it myself!

  80. Fantastic post! And congratulations! I rarely visit FB anymore, tho I’ve kept my account. The worst thing it did to me was what you mentioned about feeling everyone else’s lives were perfect, or at least great fun, and mine just terrible. (I still feel mine is terrible but w/o FB don’t have to confront their fab lives every day!) It’s just that ppl only post the good stuff there, nobody tells the whole truth and nothing but. It’s great when we can recognize something isn’t good for us and get rid of it. So good going! And thanks for telling us.

  81. Very well-written! My friends always nag me about creating a facebook account but I stood firm—I didn’t make one! And your post has made me ever more stubborn…Thanks for the honest words and motivation!

  82. One of the bests of Freshly pressed…….!!

    Used to have a Orkut account, but knowing the time I used to waste on it…….I deleted it and for the same reason I never created FB. Its so nice not to be addicted and be in control of one-self. Love life this way……..!!!!!

  83. God, this is so right-on! How many times have I uttered the words or sent the text: “Post some pix!.” My mother-in-law on the other coast gets mighty peeved if we don’t post photos or updates on a family event that she had to miss. Good for you for freeing yourself of the Facebook ball and chain!

  84. Great post! A well-written, tongue-in-cheek social (media) commentary! I know a few people who need to learn to switch off the computer but, thankfully, I’ve been pretty ruthless when it comes to ‘friending’ people on Facebook so most of the posts are from people I want to hear from…and people who are a bit more imaginative than posting what they had for breakfast. That certainly helps. Good luck in your FB-free existence!

  85. My sentiments exactly! I deleted my FB account this past August and haven’t looked back. I had deactivated my account twice before, but always reactivated (which only involved signing back in). This time I deleted my account and while I sometimes feel “out of touch,” I know I’m never going back (despite many FB friends saying, “she’ll be back!” I started out loving FB for the way it got me back in touch with long lost friends from high school, college, etc., and I’ll admit, It did bring more readers to my blog (I’ve actually had old FB friends tell me, I hate it that i can no longer read your blog–they don’t seem to understand they still can)! Sigh. To me, FB changed and is no longer what it used to be. It’s gotten “meaner” and became a platform for petty arguing. It was getting too nasty for me. I believe without a doubt, that FB CAN make one unhappy and cause depression. It can be a time suck. I’ve sure been happier since I said goodbye to it! Thanks for the great post!

  86. This is one of the better FP posts I’ve seen in a while, very topical and timely.

    I deleted my Facebook account at the beginning of December. I announced that I’d be leaving at the beginning of November so those who wanted to keep in touch could make sure they had a current working email address for me and vice versa.

    I left primarily because my “friendships” had largely become defined by “Like” clicks and emoticons in the comment box; very little real communication was happening there. Another reason I left was because of the site’s amateurish management, constantly changing formats and layouts….. The constant postings from friends lamenting the site’s lack of respect for your private information were also getting tiresome; if it bothered them that much, why weren’t they more careful with what they posted? If it bothered them that much, why didn’t they just leave the site?

    You won’t regret leaving Facebook, I know I certainly don’t.

  87. I’m glad to know that there are people that share my same feeling about FB.
    I already deleted my account once. After one year a lot of things im my life changed: changed city, workplace, friends. So I re-activated my account thinking that it would be funny to keep in touch with people and friends.
    The truth is that you don’t need FB to keep in touch with your friends; you don’t need FB to wish happy birthday to a dear friend who is abroad; and actually I don’t need FB to dislike people: I do all these things pretty good in real life.
    Facebook: ruining normal basic human relationships since 2004.

  88. How funny to read this after having an entire discussion with someone just the other day about Facebook. I enjoy it for what it is, and I have appreciated this new found ability to keep in touch with people, but to be honest, I’m not myself on Facebook, and I’m pretty sure no one else is either. I have such a mix of people on there…high school friends, former teachers, colleagues… that I would never dream of sharing what I truly think about politics or religion because sharing my true beliefs, no matter what they are, is bound to piss someone off and possibly even impact my job. So I keep it light and fluffy, which is not me. That Facebook profile with my name and my picture and the basics of my life? Yeah, not really the true me. At all.

  89. Great stuff. I have a friend who just started a second, limited FB page – – w/ a pseudonym — for his REAL friends. At least FB is more interesting than watching your wordpress stats mount up! Obsessive personalities like mine are going to find something to obsess over, no matter what! Peace in your endeavors, and congrats on FP

  90. Ha, awesome! I’ve deactivated mine and haven’t been on for over 5 months. I felt the same emptiness about it. I’d rather talk to someone on the phone or email them if they are far away, face to face if they are close. Who cares about status updates? Tiresome is what they are.

  91. Well said, humorous & having read your post it makes me want to do the exact same thing, “kick fb to the curb” for good!

  92. I totally get what you’re saying in that post!
    Many times I have gotten sick, either of the drama, or seeing the “perfect” lives of others.

  93. You have inspired me to delete my account…again. One of your readers posted about downloading all your data first; thank you to them for that, because it was one of my primary concerns. As a cyber-security chick in training, I have serious concerns about privacy!
    I realized a few days back even when I check FB I am bored with the information; I’ve been campaigning with my far-flung friends to sit down and write letters again, archaic as it may be.

    This year I think I am just going to focus on blogging here, and nothing else. No Twitter, no FB, and I deleted the majority of my other :”online” social media sites. I know they can be handy for generating more readers, but since my blog is Anonymous anyway and more so for me, why not?

    Great post!

  94. So true- my Facebook self is a filtered version of me, only the best bits showing, and oh boy does my life look good through the eyes of a Facebook stalker! It’s not all sunshine and lollipops though, but lets just keep that on the down low for now…shhhh…don’t tell Facebook!

  95. This sums up everything I’m feeling about pesbuk! That’s why I’m embracing wordpress this 2013, hopefully little by little I’ll get pesbuk out of my system. Nice post Sir Gary. haha Good vibes to your posts!

  96. Great post! And so true. I too, have deactivated my FB account countless times. After reading this, it’s time to delete it for good. I have found courage – in you! (yeah…. a bit dramatic, I know…)

  97. This was my new year resolution last year. I even deactivated it and asked to delete it. Bit managed to log in a few hours before it actually got deleted (there’s a 14 day grace period ). The account is currently in its full flow -_-

  98. Every day I try to muster up the courage to hit that de-activate button… It’s terrifying that a website can have such a hold on us! Good on you for making it past the final hurdle. Awesome post though, really makes ya think about the perfect persona we try to create online, eh?

  99. Wow, what timing. I rarely use FB. But a few nights ago I browsed the accounts of old best friends from high school and college. I was happy with my life until I saw the lives they “created” through Facebook photos, videos, all the “Iikes” and comments and everyone’s positiveness and perfect wittiness. I now feel a need to film a video of me dancing crazy this weekend while smiling and laughing a lot. And post it. On Facebook. That’s what Facebook does to you. I never felt that need before. I hate this feeling. Oh, I also need to travel somewhere that no one I know has ever been. And, I need to buy a house with its own beach. And post those on Facebook. Then life will be complete.

  100. I absolutely love this post. I finished a poem about it yesterday called Disconnected Connection! Since the dumb wordpress app is giving me problems I will be sure to follow when I get back on my laptop!! This is amazingly well written & articulated well! Congrats on cutting out fb, I swear u were in my head reagarding why the relationship had to end. I too have severed my fb ties (for 2013, at least). Reborn & happy with my decision. A peremant delete of account will be done in 2014, after I get some ppl’s contact info. :) Much Love!!

  101. This is amazing. I deleted my Facebook a while back…Definitely before Halloween! And I’m so glad that I did. The first couple of weeks were tough – going on my laptop and thinking “hm. What DO people do on the internet besides Facebook?”. And now I’m here looking up news, interesting art pieces, random facts, and reading blogs :] Strangely enough, Facebook was like ending a semi-serious relationship only to move onto greater and brighter things. Who woulda guessed?

  102. I too am a FaceBook drop-out…miss it for maybe one minute every six months or so because it can work as a good way to keep in touch with friends – but it is too easy to become lazy and feel as if you’re staying connected when all you are doing is the bare minimum. I also agree with the others who don’t like the way FB is managed.

  103. Great, really. I too have myself located with my bag-packs on Facebook, but I have never unpacked it. I mean, You wont find more than 2 or three updates there, rather than my WordPress update(self-update). I find my friends hooked up in it, don’t know why…I don’t know if I will de-activate it, for I am having no Facebook-mania.
    But those lines in the letter are holy ! ;)

    Even there are updates saying, “going to sleep” and then “likes” O_o and then comments from “friends” and then the “sleeper”!!!

    LOL! It’s horrifying!

  104. I did it! I unfriended everyone and then requested that my account be deleted. It will be deleted in 14 days. Now I have no choice but to make real friends. :-0

  105. As I read your farewell post, I couldn’t help thinking that you were, essentially, writing to yourself . . . that Facebook is just a virtual mirror.

    After all, Facebook friends don’t write your posts for you. Facebook friends don’t cause you to do anything. Eleanor Roosevelt said that “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” In the same way, we own all our other insecurities and foibles — whether we want to or not.

    Facebook, Facebook friends, nor Facebook culture are responsible for our insecurities and foibles . . . but it is a convenient receptacle for them.

    In the final analysis, we are all self-determined: the good and the bad. If you’re truly trying to come to terms with death (are you?), you must first come to terms with life. And that requires being honest with yourself.

    As I get older, I feel death could come at any time. People younger than me die all the time. Death doesn’t scare me but pain does. I don’t want a long, lingering, painful, death. If that’s my fate, I will simply take control and kill myself with a lethal dose of pills. Life is brief. Everything and everyone dies. That is as it should be. When we die is really irrelevant, except to those we leave behind.

  106. I let my sister change my Facebook password so that I can concentrate on revising for my January exams. I miss Facebook a little bit, but I’ve gotten so much more done already.

  107. So true. I wish I could do the same now but Facebook and I are very much on speaking terms now. You see I use it to promote my little online shop but that thing about making some kind of voyeurs out of us us is true and getting very superficial. Fact is, it has gotten a lot of people in trouble. Congratulations on being freshly-pressed! Love your wriitng!

  108. wooww! We have been sharing it seems.. lol, but i as well decided at the end of this year it shall be time for me and facebook to part ways.. For us to live separate lives, for me to find a better mate.. :-).. really awesome post.. witty and funny.. i enjoyed it.. :-D

  109. It’s better this way, Gary. She never loved you. She was just using you, like she uses everybody. I flirted with her once, then realized that WordPress was my true love. Facebook has never forgiven me. She’s spiteful. She follows me around and talks about me behind my back. I try to warn my friends about her, but most won’t listen. You were smart to leave her, Gary.

  110. Lovely post, really enjoyed it. Great alternative perspective. May have to immediately go post on Facebook that I’ve bought a large Caribbean island. Then delete my account!

  111. Well said Gary! I joined Facebook about 2 years ago, mainly as a way to publicize gigs I was doing with a group of musicians. In that time I’ve left Facebook and rejoined. I find it a very fascinating phenomenon; the notion of having “friends” that of course are not really friends. I heard a news story that said Facebook actually can cause depression because the more time you spend looking at people’s pictures, the more you believe that they are as happy as they look in the pictures. Of course, they are not as happy as they look. Overall I’ve learned how to use Facebook as a way of keeping in touch with what’s happening artistically amongst the artists that I know, and occasionally keeping abreast of family members’ life events. It’s good for networking too. But I completely understand the need to disengage from it. It’s healthy to do so every now and again. Best wishes to you!

  112. Love it! Wish you’d written it this time last year when I Facebook and I had our little spat. It’s what drove me into the arms of WordPress. Congrats on the FP. Well done. And good for you for making the break.

  113. Thanks for this post! I’ve been off facebook for a while now but sometimes I’m still tempted to get back on because of “all I’m missing out on!” You have inspired me to stay off. I’m not missing out on anything. A real friend will still be in your life without facebook.

  114. this is an AMAZING POST!! finally the truth is out!!

    i can’t tell you how many times i have compared my own life to the lives of those posted and documented on facebook and instagram hahahaha! i have logged onto fb feeling confident about myself and happy to connect to friends only to log off feeling as if i need to jump off of a cliff because of my inadequacies and flaws compared to those of fb. instagram is just as bad. now with apps that make current to date photos look like dated faded pics from the ’70’s and the other apps available for photo enhancement anyone can take a dog of a photo and turn it into a cheap version of what we use to call ‘fine art photography’…by now you may have realized i am a grouchy fine art photographer who actually shoots in manual and film and I know actually the process which it takes to create the very type of photos instagram loves to mimic! grrrrrrrr! i wish i would have known this darn app was coming out , then i would have not wasted the thousands upon thousands of dollars my parents spent sending me to art school and photography & film school…I COULD HAVE BOUGHT A HOUSE FOR WHAT I HAVE SPENT ON PHOTO EDUCATION AND SUPPLIES!!!

    Love this post i will share on my fb account and cherish it ;-)

  115. wow! I can totally relate! I closed my Facebook account on December 31st 2012 because of many of the same reasons you have mentioned above. I simply needed some time to myself, my family, my children, my passions without caring if anyone else cared. I too have altered this post with a “minor adjustment” I have only -deactivated- my Facebook account while I figure things out.

  116. Facebook sucks. I took it for a spin then left it behind 4 years ago. Best thing I ever did after marrying my wife. Though I STILL can’t convince them to delete my account and STILL get emails from them. God forbid I should go there and try to delete my account… when I do I get and email welcoming me back!

  117. HA! Hi Gary, I don’t often read the freshly pressed but glad I did today! :D I often get all emotional with Facebook and declare months of seperation. I often think about quitting fb for good…but feel so tied to it. I’ve got over 11 THOUSAND photos posted to the thing…it’s got me trapped. :( I know I’ll just keep going back for more.
    Good luck with your break up :D

  118. I said goodbye to “FarceBook” a year back, or so…shortly after I signed up for it…@ that time…you could actually delete the account completely. Sadly, a few months later…I let one of my sisters who lives quite a ways off talk me into going back on…and then I tried to delete it again, of course, to no avail, as now…you can’t actually get rid of the pesky thing…Anyway…
    ~Happy New Year~

  119. I would certainly want to ‘restrict’ accessing Facebook. Like twice per week or something. Because deleting my Facebook acct means, I’ll have to actually keep in touch with all my kith & kin, call them, write emails etc etc.

  120. This is brilliant and clarifies so many problems with Fb, the ‘relationships’ ‘cyber bullying’ and dareI say addiction to it is not good! I still use snail mail (letter writing for those who dont know) and find that it is a dying art form with the uprising of social network! X

  121. I think one issue – as you intimate yourself is about authenticity. Blogs allow a greater element of authenticity than Facebook because they can by more measured and thoughtful. Twitter gives even less. It seems as we evolve new media and new immediacy we get to say less and less about less. But even with unlimited allowance for expression (and like you I love words and love the urgency given of writing words whilst holding in mind my mortality) what does it mean to authentically express? The more I look the more it seems like a hall of mirrors. There isnt really a ‘me’ to define. And, well, actually that is starting to become just fine, and a relief.

  122. I love this so much that I’m posting it to my FB account! I’m keeping my acct but only because I take significant effort to severely filter my content. It certainly is a challenge, though, to resist th temptation to go stalking …

  123. I am new to Word Press and stumbled across this post. Very ironic because I, too deleted facebook for very similar reasons. I will know spend my time maintaining my blog, something more meaningful to me. Thanks for the laugh!!! Caitlyn

  124. I hate Facebook and Twitter. I wrote about it on my latest blog post “When does sharing become bragging?”. I am fed up of so called friends posting up photos of their perfect children or pictures of the dinner they are just about to eat in some expensive restaurant.

  125. Hah! That is brilliant. I deleted my facebook in September. I had previously deleted it in June 2011 but was sucked back in a year later. You know how these unhealthy relationships go- on off, on off. Luckily I’ve made a clean break. Best of luck!

  126. wow this post is amazing !! great idea for the whole letter to facebook thing! its amazing how many people break up perfectly good relationships because some kid said something on facebook, just watch jeremy kyle and nearly every person who comes on there with relationship issues says he said this or she done this on facebook! this is what the human race is coming to, also nobody says happy birthday and means it anymore, they post on your wall because facebook tells them to lol.

  127. I could not agree with you more. I’ve debated about my relationship with facebook so many times. I love the fact that I am in touch with great friends from my past and I hate that I know way too much about people I could really care less about. Good luck!! I may join you in the non-facebook world soon.

  128. My husband and I both dumped Facebook a month or so ago. We miss the contact with friends and relatives, of course, but we don’t miss feeling like we have to keep up on the lolcats and shared pics. It felt like a job, and we were relieved to be free of it. So little of the content was anybody’s thoughts or feelings.

  129. Great post – and yeah, why should we all have to have Facebook accounts? It’s built around one man’s idea about how people should interact, and not too many users seem to have even noticed the ubiquity of the framework, or perhaps its nature, still less how it is shaping the way we interact, still less stepped back and thought ‘hey, is this really me?’

  130. The unanimous support for this post is beyond comprehension. Does NOBODY see that the author blames Facebook for the decisions HE made?

    Is Facebook sucking all his time . . . or does he lack self-control?

    Is Facebook making him into somebody he’s not . . . or is he responsible for what he posts?

    Does Facebook make him hate himself as he skims through posts and pictures of his so-called friends . . . or does he suffer from feelings of inadequacy?

    Is it Facebook’s fault that he has to “deal with occasional bouts of jealousy and self-doubt” every time he reads about “a friend who bought his own private jet” . . . or is it his own feelings of inadequacy?

    When he was on top of the Eiffel Tower, did Facebook exert mind-control over him or did he conjure the “seemingly innocuous ” urge to share the moment on Facebook all by himself?

    And it goes on and on . . .

    I’m simply appalled that so many of you (actually, ALL of you, so far) buy into this clueless attitude. Are we responsible for ourselves or not? Is it okay to lay the burden for our shortcomings on Facebook?

    Get real folks. We are responsible for, and accountable to,ourselves. I know it’s tempting to blame somebody or something else for our shortcomings . . . but that’s just a cop-out. The author’s entire piece was an exercise in projection. Facebook was his mirror. He was writing to himself.

  131. So many truths here. However, when I was recovering from cancer surgery, and found myself alone when I couldn’t sleep in the hospital, FB was a great way of maintaining a link to many friends. Just a comment that they were praying for me or sending good thoughts was comforting.

  132. I have always viewed Facebook as an exercise in One-Up-Manship, and I am now the only person at my workplace who does not have an account. This can, at times, leave me feeling like something of an outsider… thank you for this reminder as to why I don’t participate.
    Also, I realize the “reblog” feature is built into WordPress, but I like to obtain an author’s permission before doing this; it is, after all, your work.

  133. beautifully written, and so true in so many ways.
    I wish I could be like you and give it up but I feel like I have to keep it up. I also find that this is the number 1 way people communicate with me these days, it even surpassed texting. FB also reunited me with my long lost primary school friends and for that I say thank you, but you are right, it’s not the healthiest passtime..

  134. Very true, I read this just after I deactivated my account. It’s been a week now, and it’s probably been the most productive week I’ve had in months. It’s also pretty interesting seeing who actually notices that you’ve disappeared from ‘life’ and does nothing, and who actually picks up the phone and checks you’re still around. Good luck with your FB-free life!

  135. Reblogged this on The Daily Muse and commented:
    I just love this post and want to share it with the few friends I have left on facebook. I too have found the courage to say bye bye and “It’s not you, it’s me. You deserve someone better. I deserve a better life too – a life of genuine relationships, a life that couldn’t care less about what people think as long as I know it’s what I want,”

  136. Great post Gary! You have my respect. I use FB a lot! Too much, actually. I am an artist and it helps me get my stuff out there but it is too addictive, as I check constantly for people’s “Likes” etc. I have a Google+ account but Good Lord, FB is enough right now!

  137. well done. I signed off around june last year after a breakup. i didn’t want to face deleting and or blocking my ex and his friends. mature, obviously. and i missed it for a while. i was so used to posting when i woke up. when i was going to the gym. when funny stuff happened at the gym. things about food. and my dog. but it’s very rarely useful. some people think i fell off the face of the earth or that i’m ‘shady’ for not having one. maybe a day will come that i think i can handle it more responsibly.. but, for now, facebook can suck my toe. i’d rather be out living my life than stalking others. i have missed a few baby announcements though, but well worth it. congrats and good luck

  138. well done you … am on facebook BUT am an untypical user. Hardly ever post, constantly am deleting friends and only really use it to set up skype dates with my friends in New Zealand and the States … maybe I should just sign off too

  139. Good stuff . . . Last year, I back packed S. and C. America for a couple of months. What was the biggest thing I noticed. PEOPLE ARE CONNECTED!

  140. By the by, I am going on a round the world (RTW) trip on January 17th and one of the biggest reasons I am doing this trip is because people actually talk to each other face to face in other countries, especially 3rd world countries. In short, they don’t walk down their city streets like Zombies typing away on their little touchscreen phones. What a concept. Hilarious.

    Great blog . . . Keep up the good work! If you get a chance, come and visit mine:

  141. I loved this post. I left Facebook for 6 months and when I reluctantly came back, the first status I wrote got likes from almost all my “friends”. Some assumed I had died. It’s a sad world we live in and it is extremely difficult to communicate with many people unless through Facebook. :-/

  142. I liked this post , its very true and everything one feels about Facebook its a necessary evil in all our lives , wonder how to get rid of it, you’ve done it hope i shall too some day..

  143. It’s been about a year of FB freedom for me, so I can totally relate. I tell you, the time that you regain is invaluable! I just recently removed my twitter app from my phone, and I’ve already found more time to do other things. The change is remarkably noticeable. Well done for putting it so wittily and interestingly.

  144. Looks like you struck a nerve! Great post. I don’t have a Facebook page and after reading your post I’m glad I didn’t go down that road. Congrats on the Freshly Pressed.

  145. Very funny, I left Facebook ages ago. This letter is a testament to my wife and her relationship with the social media monster site. I think peoples urge to bend truth has increased since it has become mainstream. I also think peoples standards for life has gone up. Life is not a TV show nor is it constant fun for all. In both cases of TV lives and social media you are only getting the highlights of what people want to share. And whether or not this is all factual is another story entirel;y. Thanks for sharing.

  146. I understand your pain…or I did when I had a Facebook myself. But I deleted it years ago, so I doubt it’s still around. But I enjoyed this! :)

  147. Nice piece, Gary; and congrats on having this post featured on Freshly Pressed. I walked away from social media last June. ( ). The push and pull of social media is different for each person, but I found that the various services became one giant time suck. Like your breakup letter, I don’t blame the services. It’s really about my needs, and control or lack thereof. Walking away from social media is not for everyone, but not participating should not be seen as some act of lunacy.

  148. Thanks for a great post…had to share the link in a post on my own blog. I’m not cutting the cord, but setting up limitations for myself. Appreciate your post that made me get it done! Happy 2013~

  149. Reblogged this on iamsunique's Blog and commented:
    Keep thinking I’ll do the same but tend to skim through the rubbish to get to things and people that actually matter to me. I use it in a way that works for me, to keep in touch with those far away and connect to some of the great inspirational pages. I have noticed it’s getting more about advertising too. Perhaps we should all seek an alternative but for now it’s still the most popular platform.

  150. Well said! I too have said “good riddance” to the antisocial media (there’s no way to call something this shallow and impersonal “social”). Those that want to see what I have to share can visit my website where I don’t have to worry about privacy issues since it’s all under my own control.

  151. So its not just my friends/high school classmates that have way better lives than me? Interesting
    I traded my fb for a totally fictitious one that i only use to play annoying time wasting fb games. I ‘like’ anything i want that’s giving stuff away and no one can judge me. Life is so much better.
    I might even have to go back to calling or writing people occasionally to see whats going on. Soon i hope to be able to ween myself even from this and be facebook free.

    1. The most fun I had playing games on Fecesbook was the last couple weeks of playing Yoville where I rean around giving away all my stuff knowing it could have an impact on Zynga’s revenue. Not that I ever spent so much as a penny on any games there, but I know of many who have spend hundreds, even thousands on them.

  152. “Don’t you think it’s a little unhealthy knowing too much about a person without even spending time talking with that person?”

    THIS.!!!!!!!! You nailed it; way more eloquently than I could. Facebook sucks.

  153. I wrote my first (and so far only) blog about this very subject. I’ll post the link below but more important than reading my ramblings, I strongly suggest the links at the bottom of the article. The one on privacy is very long but it’s also very important that people see just what is happening to all the information they may unknowingly be giving up.

  154. Hahaaa…..I love this. And good for you. :) I kissed my Facebook account goodbye almost four years ago. I didn’t tell anyone beforehand, no goodbyes, no farewells. I simply deleted my account- all of the pics, everything, and never looked back. I don’t regret it and it’s been one of the better choices I’ve ever made. People want to be worshipped these days; they’re full of syrrup and flatter each other with praise and such (and an overabundance of exclamation marks) – it’s pretty sick. FB tried to turn me into one of “those people”. I escaped..heheh.. So, good for you for getting out. :) xo

  155. Kudos on the post. Uber awesome.
    I have been off facebook for a long time (I have never had Twitter or Instagram either). I don’t live in social media, I just live. ^_^

  156. wow! well said. I too have thought these same thoughts about FB and have considered breaking up, but for some reason I stay. Maybe one day I’ll be as brave as you! Congrats on the Freshly pressed! I like your writing style.

  157. What a post! Sometimes I feel the same way it’s just that They took away myspace and 50 year old ladies in powerchairs don’t get alot of action. I know Facebook is mostly shallow. It is also All I have whether I live or die right now. I wish There was another alternative. I enjoyed this post quite abit. There are a very few people a consider close there and they are on the other side of the globe…for them and for my lonely sanity I will stay at that shallow insanity….I rarely get to see real people…:)

  158. Reblogged this on voicelesssoulsdotorg and commented:
    How many people have said good riddance to their facebook account? now you know that is really funny. you play peek a boo on other peoples pages, you become a spy on your man or lady’s page as if they wouldn’t know or find out. Typical humor for today’s “cyber world”. Time is just to precious for me to waste. Get it together people..

  159. Reblogged this on {…} and commented:
    the only reason i still keeping my facebook account are because of school group and i don’t have all of my friends phone number.

  160. Hello Gary,

    I’ve deleted or deactivated my Facebook account a couple of times. Sometimes it was because an exam was just around the corner and I really needed to concentrate. Other times it was for all the reasons you’ve so elaborately mentioned here. Facebook really is a waste of time but just so addictive! The platform indulges the one need we all crave – attention. The pic that you took a top Eiffel Tower is nothing unless it is shared and ‘liked’ and commented on, for in this age, if you don’t have the picture, it didn’t happen. I agree with so much you’ve said here, including coming up with a status that’s witty or clever just to get someone to take notice or worse, publicizing break-ups. Some folks think that a status message is their own personal diary. Who can blame them? We are all duped into believing that the ‘world’ actually cares about how you feel and you will remember one random friend who commented on your status message about dad passing away than the neighbour who helped carry his casked.

    Sad, but true.

    Very well written. You had me hooked till the end!

  161. Great post! You have set words to thoughts that many of us have. In a sociological perspective, I think it is interresting how humans tend to overshare! Poop in DSLR-quality photos could never be more interresting :)

  162. Farewell to Facebook, but don’t leave us in the lurch… because now I want to know you better in a completely un-stalk-y, no Instagrammy way. I only wish I had handled any number of old boyfriends half as well. The problem with Facebook: she’ll always want to stay “friends.” Stay strong, clever boy.

  163. In the second week of my Personal Development series, I assign the task to participants to close their Facebook account. I let them off the hook (for now), but I make it clear that FB and “social networking” in general will be the death of human relationships…and that only those who can remove themselves from it will ever find true happiness and success. Facebook is the playground of sheep, pure and simple. Even those who only “keep up with family” don’t realize that they’re being sheared every day–and willingly killing their own futures. Facebook…it’s BAAAAAAAADDD! :)

    Thank you for this post. I plan to re-blog it!

  164. I managed to delete my FB about a year ago and it felt great! No more whining complaints, no more green eyed monster when seeing someone’s photos from a vacation. Then I moved away and Facebook just makes it so easy – which says a lot about the quality of communication – to keep in contact. One day I’ll work up the courage to delete it again and be free of the constant impulse to check it every 30 minutes.

    Very well written blog, entertaining and so truthful. Thanks for making my morning!

  165. One of the more refreshing things I’ve read lately, as well as funny, in that ironic-wistful way I love so.
    As one of my friends says, “Facetrap”. Yeah, my life is not a status.
    Thanks for the great post.

  166. Hi Gary,

    I am so glad to have stumbled upon your post and really mean it when I say this is GREAT stuff. I thought I was the few who feels slightly less happier than I started off with after scrolling down aimlessly at my newsfeed. You’re a talented writer :)

  167. Thank you for your blog! You couldn’t have said it better. I feel this exact way with my Facebook and have been contemplating for a while now getting rid of it…. But like many others can’t bring myself to do it. Like a child not wanting to go to bed, I guess I don’t want to miss out on anything, as crap as it makes you feel some days! Thanks again, definitely making me think more seriously about it.

  168. It’s too easy to say negative things about FB and blame it for ALL our social (or lack thereof) issues in the world today. I personally have an intense love/hate relationship with it. FB has its advantages though… it’s not entirely evil. I guess it’s up to us to make sure it’s not running/ruining our lives.

    Great post!

  169. For me, Facebook has to be the biggest source of procrastination of any social media. Most worryingly it sucks time away from my degree, but also it just feels like a waste of time. I don’t know about anyone else, but I rarely feel a sense of achievement or fulfilment after visiting Facebook.

  170. Yeah, thanks for putting this into words. I’ve been feeling pretty much like this lately too. I imagine that if I didn’t live so far from my initial network of friends and loved ones I would be out in the world living it more. At least that is what I did when I was closer to the aforementioned peeps.

    Here, now I am working on it. It doesn’t help that the computer and internet in general suck me in and help me lose hours. I’ve been finding increasingly though that Facebook seems just to be more and more of a waste of time unless it is in the background and friends want to chat or something. I’ve thought that perhaps it is a sign I’m getting older. I understand it now to just be me needing more out of life than a false community can give me.

    Thanks for your blog post!

  171. Reblogged this on living the american dream in europe and commented:
    This blog post perfectly sums up my most recent feelings about Facebook. While I’ve struggled to use the website as my alter ego in addition to the real me – the real me is struggling with it.

    My desire for real connection over the one that Facebook provides is winning out. I’m increasingly spending more time on all my blogs, reading more, and spending more time out in the real world with real people having real experiences.

    It can be easy to forget how awesome that is (I mean real life and both the shitty and awesome experiences that come with it) without thinking about how great a status update the situation(s) would make. Or taking pictures and not worrying about putting them on Facebook or where ever on the immediate web with cute quips and snarky comments.

    Down with Facebook, I’m here for my real life!

  172. Reblogged this on Comin' Home Soon and commented:
    This is how I feel sometimes about facebook, ive shared my feelings a little on here in the past, so here’s someone else’s, its a great read! Enjoy!

  173. It’s not that other people’s lives are not as great as they appear in Facebook, it’s that they are often afraid/unwilling share the truths of their day. Which is why I loom at the adorable pictures of their newborns and think “damn, someone is no longer getting laid…” and then I go and do something awesome like invite a f*ck buddy over for an afternoon delight. And then I post about it on Facebook and get horrible inbox messages from people “locked” in an unhappy marriage. Lame.

    1. if it’s any consolation to you, my first thought when i received an email about being Freshly Pressed was: “too bad i can’t share this anymore in Facebook”… haha!

  174. Good luck with THAT. It’s been 3 years since I chose to delete my account on that monster. And I was STILL getting emails everytime someone took a dump and updated their status. If I dared to go there and try, again, to delete my account I got an email welcoming me back. But… there IS a site on the web that I used to delete it finally. Found it a few months ago and haven’t had an email one from FB since but I’m scared to death to go and look to see if my account’s actually been deleted for fear they’ll welcome me back again.

  175. A most awesome, funny, but true posting. Thank you so much for creating this work of literature – and there is not one ounce of sarcasm in my words – truly. You have a great way of expressing things so that people never forget them and thanks again – was awesome to read!

  176. I have a codependent relationship with Facebook. I know it’s bad for me. I know it’s just using me. It feeds on making me jealous by showing me how all my “friends” are better than me. And then it makes me believe that I am forgettable if I don’t join in on the daily updates. It tells me I’ll be even more forgettable without it. Damn you Facebook, damn you!

  177. Your good. Like really good. And the number of your comments prove it. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post and everyone else’s. I deleted my account over a year ago so I can relate. Great post!!!

  178. Nice post. However I feel once we are all party to all this to some extent. Things has definetly changed since then but social evolution is like flow of a river it cannot be stopped by any barrier, any wall, any rock or any mountain not even by ignorance and complete abandonment. It will eventually break every barrier and every wall, crack every rock, hole every mountain and ignore every ignorer on its way. The key is not in sitting at the bank with your back turned toward it , nor in flowing against it, not even in getting carried away in its flow but in swimming at your own pace, with your own values, rules, beliefs; just as you while enjoying the beauty of new world it takes you to as it flows. I am still on facebook but to an extent I wish to.

    1. FINALLY, somebody has given a sensible reply to this post and acknowledged that people use Facebook to the extent they WANT to use it. All other replies to this post agree with the OP . . . which, to me, is simply unbelievable. It stretches credulity to see how unanimous replies have been. Do all you people really feel that Facebook makes you waste your time or become obsessive or brings out your weaknesses . . . or whatever else you blame Facebook for?

      Wake up folks! You can use Facebook any way you choose — including IN MODERATION or not at all. If you feel insecure or insignificant or inadequate in your dealings with Facebook: those are YOUR problems, not Facebook’s. Blaming your problems on Facebook is ridiculous self-denial. You aren’t solving ANYTHING by projecting your faults onto Facebook.

      Be adults. Man up. Take ownership of your problems and face them. This game of projecting blame is for children. I’m appalled to find how commonplace such inverted thinking is.

      You people remind me of Flip Wilson’s “The devil made me do it” comedy routine. I blogged about you guys here:

  179. Reblogged this on Course Of Light and commented:
    I was reading Gary’s blog from a couple of weeks ago. He described, word by word, my feelings towards Facebook. I’ve been dreaming/dreading about cancelling my account for several months now. I’m really tired of the sick relationship I end up developing with my free time, if Facebook is in the middle. It seems as if my hands, my fingers, can only type the two first letters… first the F, then the A, and before I have time to realize what I’m doing, I have been logged into Facebook, to start scrolling down, looking avidly to find something funny, interesting or complicated to enjoy. Well… “enjoy”…
    I should be brave enough to take the final step and do it, cancelling my account. Brave enough to ask my “contacts” and a few friends I have there, to share their e-mail addresses in order to not lost touch. YET (I need to mention this) I’m afraid that I’ll be lazy enough to maintain a relationship if it’s not based on the ease of clicking a button to like someone else’s thoughts, or newborn, or rescued pet, or else. That does make me a bad person? Am I the only one regretting all the procrastination I feel I need to fulfill with Facebook time?
    I miss reading books (although I still do it), I miss to have other hobbies besides saying “how boring is Facebook right now”, I miss to be able to be invited to an event in person, I miss to have an spontaneous birthday salutation, without thinking if they really remembered it, or if it was thanks to Facebook’s help.
    I know I’m not currently prepared to take that step (not prepared? Who am I? read me saying nonsense, as if a social network can provide me more pleasure than any other kind of human interaction).
    Well, just saying. After reading Gary’s point of view, I’m feeling less alone, and more courageous about giving this “relationship” with Mark Zuckerberg’s favorite son, some time apart at least!

  180. Reblogged this on Sincerely, Donna B. and commented:
    My exact feelings about Facebook. It’s fun and all but whent he day is over does it really matter how many likes your status got? Or whether you should post the really weird picture of your cat? It’s time for reality, real people, real problems, and real relationships.

  181. My sentiments exactly! I broke up with Facebook recently and my life is so much better because of it. I primarily used it to share family photos but I’ve since found an alternative where I can share with only them and not the entire universe. Free at last!

  182. haha, I love how you wrote this post! ……I broke up with FB many times, but have realised I cant always get hold of people unless I go through FB again as they are so sucked in by it!…. I shall remove of it again, because I hate the hold it gets on you once your in- the need to keep checking in to see what’s happening! And also I HATE the fact that it tells the world where you are if you leave your GPS on-like I really want people to know my home address! and I really don’t need the status updates of peoples personal lives-oh the drama! :)

  183. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this! My sentiments exactly, and one of the reasons I just started to blog. Facebook is not productive, it has become a poor excuse to not see my friends because I can find out what they are doing on Facebook. I can say that I know everyone personally who I am friends with on Facebook. That is my one rule: if I don’t know you and am not friends with you in my real life, you are not my “virtual friend”. Facebook does serve one purpose for me, and that is to connect with friends and family who live faraway.

  184. A brilliant post, Mr. Mondejar!

    Lacking your kindness and sensitivity, I have unceremoniously “deleted” as opposed to “deactivated” my FB account three times in the past, without so much as a warning. I have politely cooed at the cuteness of kitties riding skateboards while dressed in bikinis, and observed in horror as hundreds of women (well, maybe not that many — I’ve actually never had more that 40 “friends”) chimed in with suggestions and ‘pity reparte’ in response to some other friend’s tragic inability to deal with… menstrual cramps… And rather than issuing a “it’s you, not me” letter, I logged out of FB, citing a desire to Google the latest cat couture, never to return…

    Now on my 4th FB account, I have fired most of my old “friends,” made new ones, and am content to maintain a fairly vanilla space, convenient for keeping “in touch” or making new contacts. I’ve also learned that many people don’t “FB” to discuss hot topics or controversial issues; so, when I have something to say, I hit my blog…

  185. Good stuff. I don’t think I’ll leave it permanently, because it does have its benefits. You see, sometimes you just need to stalk someone. Just kidding :D
    I temporarily deactivate my Facebook account for a couple of months from time to time. I do this whenever I feel I’m getting sort of addicted or feel the need to post crap all the time. This helps me keep it out of my routine life and do something else instead that is productive.
    – Ram

  186. Reblogged this on Screenshots News and commented:
    So, it’s not just me huh? Several years back I tinkered with FB for about 4 months. After I joined [ under my real birth name and present name ] three of my “long lost friends” from high school found me after 30 years. We began to dialogue via email. Over the next 6 weeks they dropped away one by one as they discovered not only was I not a liberal [ Whaaat? A gay woman who’s NOT a liberal. This can’t be! ] but worse, I did not vote for Obama. These “friends” decided amongst themselves over that period that something must be wrong with me, and they all three gradually dropped away from keeping in touch. So now I know at least one thing that Facebook is good for: it’s really good for finding and bonding with people who are just like you, down to the fine nuances of how they vote and what they believe to be true. One can find and attach oneself to these “yaay, you are just like me!” groups and blow spitballs at everyone else, right? Isn’t that the gist of what social networking is for? Oh, sorry, I left out surveillance. It’s good for that too.

  187. The ONLY reason I have a Face Book account is to publicize my blog. There is absolutely NO personal data that is not required. I only check it to make certain my blog posts appear as planned. I agree, the world is filled with people obsessed with sharing every bit of drivel and inanity of their daily life. Enough!

  188. Just cut my ties with that addiction and although it feels weird not to click on FB as a part of my morning routine, I find I’m less depressed after reading about all the fun everyone else had the night. But I will survive…I will survive.

  189. Can relate to a lot of this. It’s such a big waste of time and face-to-face is much better than status updates.
    Yet there are some benefits- i.e. ease of contact with people who travel or live overseas. It seems to be the way the world is going though now and it’s the way of communicating, especially for things like groups both church groups and other. Plus I’ve heard arguments from Christians about using it as a tool as another way to connect when other options aren’t welcomed by people.
    Even with these arguments, I’d love to delete my account. I rarely use it and prefer email if I’m am connecting on the net. Well done- hope you that new freedom.

  190. I don’t think I have the guts to kick myself out of Facebook like you did, but I’ll make sure I pull in the reins before I get totally addicted.

    1. To each his own, Jam. To each his own. I know that the decision to get rid of FB was a rather extreme move on my part, but I have never looked back ever since. It is my hope that the article published in Rappler will serve as an instrument for Filipinos to be more conscientious in our use of social media. :)

  191. You are so right! it’s not FB, it is definitely, absolutely, no doubt, unquestionably YOU. :)
    1. What others think of you is none of your business.
    2. Envy comes from people’s ignorance of, or lack of belief in, their own gifts. – Jean Vanier
    3. If a friend gives out too much information, be it ghastly, libelous, hoaxes and scams, unwanted or just plain useless crap, you as a friend should tell them. but…
    4. If they are just FB friends, why do you even care if they make a fool out of themselves anyway? You don’t want to see their crap, then delete them from your list.
    5. One way or another, you yearn for recognition. Facebook, twitter, instagram, G+, and blogging are different forms and types of saying, “hey look at me! i have something to offer!” So please, don’t use this post as an excuse. Don’t think that this makes you a person of great depth or that you have abandoned your shallow self because you have deactivated your FB account.

  192. Gary! Saw this article in Rappler. Happy that you’re exercising control in the use of social media platforms. Happier, actually, that you’ve been keeping a blog and writing. Hope all is well with you. Regards and God bless.

    1. Gen! Kay tagal na! :) salamat sa pagbasa, at sa pagcomment. Writing became a necessity for me to keep my sanity. Nakakabaliw kasi ang mundo! daming problema, nakakalunod ang buhay. so ayun, sa pagsusulat ko na lang nabubuhos lahat ng frustrations at lahat ng problema ko. Hope all is well with you, too. :)

  193. Whats up very nice web site!! Guy .. Excellent .. Superb .

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  194. Good riddance! I just did it two days ago. My life has become so peaceful after getting rid of Facebook. I thought that I can do better than liking posts, pictures and comments and worrying about portraying the best (fake) image of your’s to others. How pathetic!

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