This is not goodbye

This is not goodbye. This is me saying go and chase your dreams as I chase mine. Get to know yourself more, enjoy the company of yourself, fall in love with yourself.

This is not goodbye. This is me hoping to see you after you find yourself, after you have enough of guys who won’t care enough, after getting tired of too much shit.

This is not goodbye. This is me choosing for the first time not to burn the bridge because I’ve always been the type of guy who deletes messages and emails as part of moving on but this time for the very first time I don’t ever want to move on.

This is not goodbye. This is me trying my hardest to resist myself, to resist this tendency to play safe and sanitize my feelings and forget everything to numb the pain.

This is not goodbye. This me grappling for the perfect words to say to you but I know it will be in vain because deep inside I don’t know, don’t ever fucking want to know how to say goodbye to you.

This is not goodbye. I’m still here. You can leave. You’re free to go. But I’m still here.

I’d like to stay here, for now.

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3 thoughts on “This is not goodbye

    1. Cecelia, it matters not what I meant by it, right? What matters is how you took the words, and how it moved you. And I’m glad that you love this; I love this post too.

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