I feel everything at once.
I feel nothing at all.
I don’t know what’s worse:
Drowning beneath the waves
Or dying from the thirst.”
I’ve read those words somewhere and I couldn’t shake them off since then. I asked myself why those words spoke so much to me and the only answer I could give is because I feel the same thing.
There are days when I feel like I really know myself down to my innermost being, and then there are times when I don’t have a fucking clue who I am or what I am doing with my life. And it scares the shit out of me; like everything is slipping through my fingers and I can’t do anything about it.
But thanks to writing — not only in this blog but mostly in my private journal — I feel like I know what I’m doing and feel closer to my being. Of course, the truth is I may never know what I’m really doing with my life nor can really fully understand myself. But what matters is the feeling. And so I keep writing.
If you want to read my stuff, you might want to begin by reading these:
- Being single (published in Inquirer.net)
- Good riddance, Facebook (published in Rappler.com)
- Why I’m single (published in Inquirer.net)
- The kind of love I want (published in Thoughtcatalog.com)
- if i am to write about you&i (published in dagmay.kom.ph)
- To my siblings
- Notes to self @ 25
- How I will love you
- To die a thousand deaths
- Pursue meaning, not happiness
- To a friend with benefits
I don’t claim that my writings are any good, or that they’re worth your time. Really, I think my words suck. But at least they’re honest and true, written not of ink but of blood. My blood. And this has always been enough for me.
– Gary C. Mondejar